Did she say that? Do you mean to say my aunt has invited my ex-fiance to the wedding?
Yeah, I did hear something to the effect.
That does it. This means the end of all relations between us. I am telling you now, I shall not talk to her again, nor am I ever visiting. You might go, I won’t.
Sound familiar? Replace ex-fiance with the relationship of your choice, and there you have it – the classic Pakistani tale when it comes to any wedding celebration.
You’re inviting that nephew? How could you -? You remember how rude he has been to me? I cannot accept your invitation brother. You can either invite him, or myself – make your choice.
Why the strong hatred? Knots of relationship have been tied for us by Allah. They may get frayed over time from lack of strengthening and misuse, but love and respect can make them good as new!
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬ۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبً۬ا
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another (i.e. demand your mutual rights), and the wombs (relations). Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer. (An-Nisa: 01)
Did you ever worry about answering for our dealings with our relatives?
Do you visit your grandma’s sister, the one your granny loved so much?
In touch with cousins much? Know the names of their kids?
Or let’s start closer…how well are you friends with your siblings?
Did you ever give up some odd habit that you feared they might follow? What was the outcome?
Is your relationship more like Tom and Jerry, Dexter and Dee Dee; or oil and creaky door hinges?
Oh yes, it is tough. Nobody ever seems to listen, and everybody in the family either completely misunderstands you, or has no respect for your contribution whatsoever, eh? And don’t even get me started on religion, man – they favour some weird sect you cannot even pronounce the name of!
What a dilemma. Allah tells us to revere ties of relationship, but that unkind aunt is always picking on you! Surely Allah would understand…no?
ٱلَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهۡدَ ٱللَّهِ مِنۢ بَعۡدِ مِيثَـٰقِهِۦ وَيَقۡطَعُونَ مَآ أَمَرَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦۤ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفۡسِدُونَ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرُونَ
Who break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which Allah has ordered to be joined and cause corruption on earth. It is those who are the losers. (Al Baqarah: 27)
God forbid, we do not wish to be the losers! What to do then?
Allah orders us in the Quran to give the relatives their due. We have numerous reports from the companions of Prophet Muhammad (s) on his conduct with his family. In fact, the best of men is one who is best to his family; first and foremost. We cannot afford to be lax about our ties through our mother and father, folks.
From House to Home is a talk whereby Sheikh Abu Eesa Niamatullah is expected to clear any and all doubts that we may have about dealing with relations, and practical steps on how we can make them better. You shall find out:
- Who exactly is family, and who isn’t
– Who is to receive the utmost care and obedience and who comes after…
– What do I owe my family
– Do I even owe my in-laws, and in what regard
– How to combat family challenges
The enigmatic presence of Abu Eesa Niamatullah, combined with his knowledge, and expertise regarding the topic (he teaches an Al Maghrib course on Imam AnNawawi’s Adab alMufrad) shall be one sound experience Insha Allah. Make sure you get your tickets!